"If you're from Africa, why are you white?"

My feeling is that right now I can split you, my readers, into two discrete groups. Those of you who have acknowledged my pop culture reference and are wondering if its acceptable to cancel your weekend plans and sit down to watch Lindsay Lohan's finest, and those of you who are wondering if I've made an offensive comment, and wondering how soon I'll be forced to issue a public apology.

One of my friends from Cirencester (Guillym) has spent the last year working on a vegetable/flower farm in Kenya, and back in early April we had a conversation which went something like this:

"I'm in the UK for a week later this month."

"Cool I am free between 2pm and 6pm on the Saturday."

"I have a meeting then."

"No worries, I will see you next time you are back."

"Why don't you come out to Kenya?"

*Five minutes later*

"I'm on the Emirates website, do these dates work for you?"

*Three minutes later*

"Flights booked."

There followed of course a whirlwind of visa applications, vaccination booster injections, and dispensation of malaria prophylactics. Such was the hurry that, when asked to make another appointment to be given a meningitis vaccination, my response was "Can't I just do it myself?" The nurse in the travel clinic wasn't that impressed. However, armed with a yellow fever certificate reminiscent of dog vaccination card, under strict instructions not to play with any pets, and armed with a suitcase of books and several bikinis, I made my way to Nairobi.

The first surprise was that the hot weather I had been promised was nowhere to be seen; the wet season had refused to leave the party at the stated time of carriages, and was dancing into the small hours of the anticipated dry season. In contrast Wales had waved me goodbye with blue skies and a big cheery sun.

Nairobi greeted me with crowds, queues at passport control, and a couple of white Kenyans wearing stereotypical khaki outfits and trying to shoo away an enormous moth. Driving out of the city I had my first experience of Nairobi traffic (wild- more later), and we made our way to Nairobi National Park.

NNP is pretty special; its a national park, complete with African big game, which sits right up against the city. Driving around animals are framed by the city skyline, and aeroplanes dropping in to Jomo Kenyatta fly overhead. I saw some baboons and buffalo, and crossed my fingers for a sighting of my favourites; giraffes and zebra.

The tracks were pretty muddy, but in a big 4x4 we thought that everything would be okay... Until the truck got rather spectacularly stuck in a wet patch, sinking several feet into the mud. With the emergency number on the entrance ticket being unmanned, and numbers on the park website not working, we had no choice but to sit and wait for someone to drive past with a rope and a desire to help. While sitting it out (help did come) a couple of rhino wandered into view, one of them accompanied by her calf. That alone was worth being stuck...

With the rain and night drawing in, we left the park (seeing a tractor with odd wheels driving around looking for stuck cars) and made our way to the Muthaiga Country Club, a club that has reciprocal member access to the Farmers Club in London. As we were both members of the latter we could stay there. After a long flight to Nairobi (via Dubai), and excitement in the park I was very relived to see my mosquito-netted bed!

The next morning we took on the Nairobi rush hour to visit the Giraffe Centre. Traffic there is like nothing I have seen; vendors weave in and out of cars to sell everything from chewing gum to ties, USB cables to bottled water, newspaper, prints of African scenes, steering wheel covers and little bags of nuts. Lots of people in the city use matatus; basically small minibuses that run like taxis. Matatu drivers basically go wherever and however they like, and protect themselves from their own recklessness by adorning their vehicles with sketches of the Pope, passages from scripture, and references to their souls being saved by Jesus. As the religious notes are often accompanied by images of secular gods such as Kanye West, and motivational quotes, the whole thing is a tiny bit surreal.

The Giraffe Centre was AMAZING, and I recommend everyone to visit if given the chance. Set up to conserve and protect giraffes, the place is amazingly low-key and relaxed, with no rushing, no queues, a small viewing platform, and plenty of time to look at the animals. You are given pellets to feed the giraffes, and they all come over for a snack. As the platform is elevated they are at eye level, and will extend their heads for a kiss before looking for treats with their long blue tongues. Giraffes are my favourite animals and so it was a tiny bit sad to see that (like horses) they bring me out in a rash.

Driving to Naivasha I saw my first wild zebra, just grazing on the side of the road. Also lots of Maasai herdsmen moving goats and cattle, some long distance lorries with questionable safety standards, and evidence of the recent heavy rain in the form of half the road being washed away. There were lots of donkeys being used for transportation, some in pretty sorry states. I went to Morocco a few years ago, and there too there were some sad donkeys. I'm pretty sure that no animal has ever been as routinely over-used and under-appreciated as the donkey; and you would think that in the Christian world they would experience some sort of exalted status, being the beast that bore the weight of the labouring Virgin Mary. If you're going to donate money to animal welfare charities, those that teach impoverished communities how to care for their donkeys, and provide veterinary aid and vaccination (and new harness etc) would really be a worthy cause.

The farm itself was impressive, growing a variety of flowers and lots of vegetables, mostly for UK consumption. When I worked in the fresh produce industry I dealt every day with vegetables that had been flown in from Kenya; now I was at the beginning of the supply chain seeing the fields being prepared for drilling.

That evening we went out for supper with another guy working on the farm; supper being a curry (naturally) in a cafe sitting right next to a petrol station. It was one of the most unusual places I've eaten (doubly so as some guys with rifles just casually strolled in), and afterwards I found this headline on the front page of a local newspaper, which really made my day.

The Maasai Mara is the most well-known Kenyan safari destination, we checked out a few lesser known national parks, and the lack of crowds really were astonishing.

Lake Nakuru gave me my first hippo spotting (literally broke the surface of the water with a yawn while I took a photo of the lake), and also wild giraffe, massive herds of wildebeest, vervet monkeys, and a hoopoe.

I have to say that I will never get bored of zebra foals, and for the whole day we had the park to ourselves; the only other traffic we saw was a school bus on a day trip, and a few rangers. Also buffalo are huge and actually pretty concerningly horn-y close up.

Nakuru also has the tourist-aversion of one of the park entrances requiring you to drive through the most impoverished part of the town. While its a harsh reality of the inequality of living standards in Kenya, I guess tour companies don't really want Western visitors to be driven through what turns into a 3d Oxfam advert.

While G had a farm AGM I went for a ride at a neighbouring stables and game conservancy. Riding an ex-polo pony named Debs, I came up close with zebra and giraffe, and had a splash in Lake Naivasha (keeping an eye out for hippo) and a gallop around the edge of the racing gallops. My guide was keen that I should swap horses with him (in order to ride a show jumper named Galaxy) so that I could have a go at some of the cross country course. It would have been rude to refuse, so I had the very surreal experience of jumping logs, brush fences, and a variety of standard hunter trials fences, while giraffe and wildebeest silently looked on.

The final big outing of the trip was to the Aberdare National Park, which obviously brought about a lot of comments from my Welsh friends (if you know, you know). The park was astonishingly green (did I mention that it rained the whole time I was there?) and with no phone signal and very few visitors, we had a few exciting moments on muddy and rutted tracks. For most of the day we saw nothing but warthogs and the evidence of elephants- mostly poo- and stopped to see a spectacular waterfall. As we drew close to our stop for the night, I saw my first elephant, standing alone in a grassy clearing below the track.

Until then I'd never really understood people who were fixated with elephants, but seeing one in the wild, I had a major epiphany about how truly amazing they are. Can't quite believe that anyone would kill something so intelligent and majestic for a bit of ivory.

On a sundowner game drive earlier in the week (trying to find  a leopard, failed) I'd seen my first hyena, in Aberdare we came across one just relaxing by the track.

Hyena are seriously cool. For a long time people thought that they were hermaphrodites; because the females have a pseudo penis. Actually its just a side effect of elevated testosterone levels; the levels in female hyenas are higher than in the males, which gives them the pseudo penis and also makes them bigger and more aggressive than the males. Biology blows my mind all the time.

We stayed at a lodge called The Ark, which is shaped like a ship and overlooks a watering hole. When we checked in elephants were visiting, and so I had a close up look at the matriarchal group, babies, and a solitary male. There were also lots of warthogs and some lovely antelope and waterbuck. The lodge was brilliant too; all night they play different whistles to alert you of different animals visiting the watering hole, a xylophone is played up and down the corridors as a wake up call, and supper featured a traditional curry thing made with what are basically savoury bananas. There was also a very efficient bar, and guests from lots of interesting places... Including Caerphilly in South Wales. I KNEW I heard a Welsh accent when we arrived, and I was right.

In short Kenya was fabulous. Its a country of massive contrasts and contradictions (no McDonalds but KFC deliver?), and a real reminder both of privilege and also of how absurdly wonderful nature is. Two years after graduating with a MSc that dealt heavily in tropical agriculture, distribution of aid, and food security and sovereignty in the developing world, I finally saw some of my lectures applied to the real world.